I kind of posted this as a joke this weekend over at faceplace: 7 Important Things to Know Before Dating an Alpha Female. Although, a lot of it is true.
As a self-proclaimed Alpha Chick myself with a football stadium full of hard limits and high interest in investing my time, most of the time, in anything else BUT dating, I can attest to the fact that we are not easy. We’re complicated. We definitely don’t like being told what to do (most of the time, anyway), and we definitely know what we like and don’t like – and the cherry on top: we are stubborn.
Not an easy brew to swallow.
But, ladies, in
retaliation or response to the article above, I’d like to humbly suggest that sometimes, we should consider going beta. Here are a few times when downshifting might be in order:
When an Alpha Chick Should Consider Going Beta:
1. When he’s trying, give him a shot – In a swipe left or right world, the dating universe is brutal…BRUTAL. I. TELL. YOU. (No, I’ve never been on Tinder, and have zero aspirations to do so…but I’ve heard horror stories.) And, props to a dude who can stick out his neck and dare to ask a woman, let alone an alpha woman out. If he’s bold enough to step up and ask, why not give him a chance? You’ll know pretty quickly into the date or hang out session (do people date anymore?) whether or not he’s going to get a chance #2 anyway, which leads me to…
2. When he asked you out, let him plan it - Don’t get super pushy here. He’s again trying, props to him for that. Try on what he likes and see what he suggests. Hang back and let him either shine or fizzle out. And sometimes, the choice he comes up with may be even better than any suggestion you could have imagined anyway. If he tries to pull you to a monster truck rally, why not experience it once? Then you can check it off your bucket list and move on…
3. When he’s happy to see you, reciprocate - It’s ok to get a little gushy. I know, I know, hard for us hard core ladies to do, out there slaying dragons all day with our game faces on, but you can slip into beta and show him that you’re excited to see him as well! It’s NOT WEAKNESS. It’s actually a STRENGTH. Your energy is powerful, so make sure you’re putting out the right kind around those whom you care most about, and maybe just get it back in return.
4. When he’s an expert at something that you’re not, learn from him – Get beta by getting curious about his expertise or hobby. Ask him a lot of questions. Get to know something about his interests. If you’re a true alpha, you’re naturally curious about the world anyway, so this arena shouldn’t be too hard to go into beta on… Constant learning and not being an expert at something is beta first, then alpha – so go BETA and learn something from the brother! (Besides, most alpha chicks crushed on at least one previous teacher or professor.)
5. Doors, handkerchiefs, and paws – Old fashioned in these 3 arenas is still white hot in many alpha’s minds. One alpha chick purported that around doors, she pretends her arms are broken to let men get ahold them for her. A guy who hands you his handkerchief when you got something caught in your eye (or you were crying, god forbid) is flat out chivalrous (unless he was the guy who made you cry too, but most alphas never let ding dongs like that see us cry). And, hold the guy’s paw or arm! It’s OK. Besides, it will keep him from digging around and texting/checking Tinder while he’s under your spell – LOL! (If he’s that interested in checking Tinder, you won’t be putting up with him for very long, anyway.)
Again, I’m no dating expert. I barely do it myself. But, I do know a thing or two about being an alpha. Sometimes, however, it’s OK to go beta. And to my sisters out there in AlphaLand – you don’t always have to be alpha ALL the time–you can pull it back a little once in a while…and while I don’t agree with all of the article above, I do agree with bullet #7:
we ARE worth the hassle!