I don’t know if this really works (most of my adult life has consisted of relationships with cats and fictional male characters in books), but there’s a TED talk out there on this subject, along with a NY Times article on the 36 questions you can allegedly ask anyone that will make you fall in love with them when you ask (or when they ask you? Or when you each answer? Or only after you stare them eyeball to eyeball for 4 minutes?) I’m not clear on exactly when and how the love arrives….
What I am clear on is that I’d like more love in this world (and in my own life in 2017), so I’ll take a shot at answering a random sampling of them here. If nothing else, maybe my fab 13-14 fans will in turn ask themselves and their significant others the same questions.
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Living: Gloria Steinem and/or Bjork
Dead: 4 way tie between da Vinci, Einstein, Joan of Arc and Bill Cunningham.
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
In a helpful and inspiring way, maybe.
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
All the time. I detest the phone. Except when I’m mad…and those conversations go even worse, because they aren’t rehearsed. That, and I’m mad…
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
Writing for an original book project or working on an original big project that ultimately helps people. Preferably in my jammies. Glass of wine or kir royale waiting for me at the end of a full day’s work, handed to me by my partner in crime, too, please–with zero calories in it, and a box of chocolates. (This is, after all, my perfect day.) In my Paris apartment.
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
Solo: In the Jeep. All the time. Also in the shower.
Last time I sang to someone else? Can’t recall. (The world already knows I’m crazy – don’t need to keep re-confirming through performance.)
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
In my sleep. (I hope.) I’m feeling it at age 86.
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Do I have a partner? If I did, I’d want him to be whip smart, with dark, dry humor and
hellbent on intrinsically motivated to make the world a better place. I’d like to think I have these 3 characteristics (less 1, more 2 & 3 on me, personally.)
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
Everything. But most of all, for my education.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Three way tie: 1. Time travel, and 2. mind reader/psychic and 3. teleportation. But if time travel could include teleportation, we could knock that down to 2.
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
That I made a difference in the world before my demise.
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
Finding a way to go through and finish grad school 3 times, and not go into debt at any time over it.
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
Keeping it real.
20. What does friendship mean to you?
See above, and helping each other out–taking that text or call, sharing time (the one thing we never get back), and laughing it out/lifting each other up more than crying.
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
If I had a partner, I’d want him:
1. smart, 2. funny, 3. takes his work, but not himself seriously, 4. loves to travel and experience new adventures and, 5. kind/generous.
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …”
Just a partner in crime, please. But good, positive, world-changing crime. That, and some inside jokes and high fives when one or both of us kicks some @$$.
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
I play my cards close to my vest at first, but once I’m in, I’m really all in.
There’s some of the answers. Take the quiz with your sig other, if you have one. Or, just take it yourself. Double dog dare you. Especially at a new year.
Who knows? You may just discover something you didn’t already know…and become one step closer to enlightenment, or love, at least according to the New York Times.